The Good Mate

Admit it or not, when we have a new partner we usually can’t stop ourselves from singing their praises. New love is a wonderful thing, even though we may drive our friends crazy because we go on and on and on. Too much information? Yes, but we just can’t help ourselves. If would be wonderful if that didn’t change; that we would always say positive things about our partner. But life doesn’t work like that. Sooner or later things change, for better or worse.

Flash forward, a few months or even few years later and boy does it seem that things change drastically. The person we used to rant and rave about with nothing but compliments, now we complain to our friends about constantly always telling them what they do or don’t do. Disappointment happens in almost all relationships. You’ll get hurt, or you’ll hurt someone and it may even reach a point that you just want to call it quits. If you’re close to that point how about turning things around? Instead of only complaining, make it a point to talk up the good things about your partner.

Life is all about balance. Though it’s important to be able to vent to your partner about your frustrations, it’s just as important that you mention the good things to them. Too much of one or the other won’t create a healthy relationship and causes imbalance. Too much balance in the negative column and the whole relationship will collapse. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t share either the good or the bad about your mate with your friends. But a little restraint goes a long way. You need to think about when to share and how much to share. Take a deep breath and give it some thought before your mouth runs away with itself. This helps in a couple of ways. First, it allows you to get insight before talking to your mate or anyone else. I believe it is important to trust your own voice or gut in a situation. If after the time of inward thinking you still feel confused, then it may be necessary to talk to someone.

Remember though to balance the positive and the complaints. Every side has two stories and giving the person that’s listening a balanced view of things allows them to give you informed advice. You never know, they might even be able to point out some positives that you overlooked. After all, you started dating this person for a reason right?